The End of the Beginning
by Black Stormraven
Summary: Major spoilers for "Loss". Sometimes the universe just doesn't want anyone to be happy.


_ "The crops are coming in strong this year," he commented half-heartedly. His focus was not on the swaying grain stalks in front of him, spread out like a golden sea all the way to the horizon. His attention was held entirely by the gentle warmth of the hand on his arm. He turned his head to look at her, his beautiful wife. He couldn't believe there was a time when he'd thought her nothing more than a heap of metal and wires. He'd been so blinded by his rage and his stubbornness that he'd refused to see her for who and what she truly was. This woman beside him was so much more. He smiled at seeing the serene expression on her face, her bright blue eyes fixed on the field before them, her lips turned up slightly at the corners. Anyone who did not know her would think that her expression never changed, that her face remained locked in indifferent observation just like any other humanoid AI. But not Razer. He knew every minute detail of her face, knew that each small change signified an emotion so profound the sight of it took his breath away. "You have been quiet this morning, Aya. Is there something on your mind?"_

_ She turned to him, that beautiful face filling his senses until he couldn't breathe. He ran a single finger down her cheek just to touch her, to confirm that she was indeed real. She reached a hand out to him, mirroring his touch on her face. Her fingers lightly traced the markings down from his eyes until arriving at his lips. The love that poured from her was almost palpable and he basked in its wonder. But there was something different in her eyes. "Razer," she whispered. Something was wrong. "Twenty-nine point five seconds of existence left…"_

_ In an instant his Heaven turned into Hell. The crop field disappeared only to be replaced with a desert of rock and dust. The bright sun blinked out its light to leave him in a world of all-encompassing grey. Aya's synthetic flesh began to crack and fracture, allowing the green energy that powered her CPU and power core to seep out. Her eyes dulled. Her body grew cold as she collapsed in his arms. "Aya!" She managed to grace him with a weak smile before all that remained was her helmet. Razer stared dumbly at the white metal before that too faded into nothingness. "AYA!"_

"AYA, NO!" He was covered in a cold sweat when he bolted awake from the nightmare. His breath came in hard pants as he recalled the memory of Aya's body being swept away. When his mind came into focus and remembered that he was aboard the Interceptor in his own quarters he almost wished for death. "Not again…not again…"

Razer pulled his knees to his chest and lay his head upon them. He'd kept himself together for hours before succumbing to the grief. He'd locked himself in his room and wept for Aya until his body gave into exhaustion. Hal and Kilowog had tried to coax him out but he would have none of it. For the second time the universe had seen fit to rip away the one thing he loved. First Ilana, now Aya. Was he to have no happiness? What great sin had he committed to warrant such pain and heartbreak not once but twice?

The Red Lantern gasped for breath between tears, Aya's smiling face being replaced by a mask of regret and sorrow over and over again in his mind. Could he have done something different? Could he have forced her to return her consciousness to the Interceptor despite her assertion that it was impossible? Could he have pulled them both to safety in time, or even pushed her out of the path of the Anti-Monitor's beam instead? What could he have done? "What could I have done?"

Eons seemed to pass before his tears stopped, but the pain in his heart did not lessen. In fact, it burned. As when he lost Ilana, he didn't fight the anger that roiled and churned in his chest. He embraced it. He screamed his fury as his uniform coalesced over his body. He was blind with red rage once more. Without so much as a thought for his Green counterparts, Razer left the ship and made all haste back to the last known location of the Anti-Monitor. If he had to rip the gluttonous behemoth apart from the inside out to make it bring Aya back, he would damn sure try. And if such a thing turned out to be impossible, he would simply try harder. No Manhunter, Green Lantern, or threat of death would bar him from his quest. And woe be to any who tried to stop him.

* * *

**I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. -goes to cry in a corner-**


End file.
